June 2009
20 posts
This is exactly how I feel
I feel kinda lame because I never really liked this song, but it is EXACTLY how I feel today.
Boston- Augustana
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun… Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed, This world you must’ve crossed… you said… You don’t know me, you don’t even care, oh yeah, She said You don’t know me,...
May 2009
12 posts
A way to love you less
A WAY TO LOVE YOU LESS
Once again, we fall into place Side by side we go to spaces no one can find The things we were so proud of Are now solely between you and I
Bittersweet, like visiting a home where I grew up Long after having moved away I came to you flooded with lovely memories And longing to feel again that I could stay
Like a force of nature Passing through any walls I could possibly erect...
5.11.09
Trying to find refuge in the only things I know how.
Lies. That’s not true.
I will try to forget but I know the truth.
I know how to take refuge in the Lord, but he doesn’t quite deliver the same type of sensations as men, smokes, or liquor- does he.
I’m trying Lord, you know I am trying so very hard.
I’m failing, just as hard- if not harder.
A little memory that I don't want to forget:
Kelsea and I in the car after a long disgusting day of cleaning and packing up to move out of our old apartment on Vermont, looking gross. Driving across town, stuffing our faces with dollar menu McDonald’s and BLASTING All the Single Ladies by Beyonce.
Glory.
5.7.09
5.6.09
I guess this is my attempt to start journaling somehow. I’m nervous about it because journaling has a tendency to get me to admit the things I know that I simply do not wish to acknowledge. I know it’s good for me, so here it goes. It’s been a rough few months. I’ve been kind of beaten down, lost a little faith, a little trust, a little bit of confidence, maybe even a...
5/2/09
I have the weirdest fucking job…and the cutest fucking kitten.
“Love is smoke raised with the fume of sighs; Being purged, a fire sparkling in...”
– Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet
May 1, 09
Dearest, I just want you back. I have moved, made new friends, changed my appearance, changed my entire life…and I still can’t escape. You have not moved an inch. It’s as though you are punishing me by letting me know where you will always be. Leaving me with the knowledge of where I left and where I will always want to run back to. And I always want to run back to it. I...
I could not Imagine
I did not imagine that I would see you this way Or that you would fit so well beside me I did not expect to identify the colors in the world around me as those of your eyes Or to crave you in your absence I did not desire to be so attentive to your methods of movement and speech Or to feel myself smile every time you smile I did not anticipate this conquering compulsion to touch you Or expect your...
The Green Line
I took the green line home. As I stepped off I felt the city air leave my lungs in a cloud of smoke. Suddenly overdressed for any occasion this place could ever possibly entertain, I felt eye contact from strangers. Here, the mothers of children I would care for weekly look at me like some sort of alien. The sand feels strange to my asphalt familiar boots, and the heavy salt water air feels...
Ours was but a Season
Ours was but a season. We met like leaves in autumn air, touching for a moment then wafting nigh and hither on it’s breast to go our separate ways. Never a truer word fell from your lips than when you so honestly exclaimed from beneath my sheets, “Who are you! Who are you?” Beginning as an earnest curiosity, and then lending itself to a fleshly desire without capacity beyond...
